


Praying for Love

by Christian_Richtown, This_Solaris_Life



Series: The Zhao Collection [21]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mythology, God! Zhu Bao, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other, Parent-Child Relationship, Worshiper! Zhao Xian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27865977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_Richtown/pseuds/Christian_Richtown, https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_Solaris_Life/pseuds/This_Solaris_Life
Summary: Zhao Xian has never been a spiritual man but he kept his late wife's faith up for him and their son. There he finds peace from the God of Blessings who had blessed him with the time he had left and prays with this new trial in his heart that his prayer might be heard.
Relationships: Zhao Xian/Zhu Bao
Series: The Zhao Collection [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943596
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

It was the crisp spring air that Zhao Xian took a deep breath of. It was so early it was still dark outside. His children and most of the staff were asleep too. The view of his private garden was a treat at this hour. He peered over his shoulder at the doorway when he heard the shuffling of his guards changing out for the day. It was something that his wife had woken up to many times before over the eight years they’d been married. She’d set out to her little shrine at the edge of their garden near the lake. 

He wouldn’t be long there at the shrine. A new routine for him since her passing. He would wake early and make his way to the shrine. The one she prayed to for small blessings on those she knew and those she didn’t. There was an ache in his heart where he missed her which is why he went. It was one of the few tethers he had to her except his children. Her family had abandoned her after their marriage and as the years passed their personal circle changed. 

“Good morning.” Zhao Xian smiled as he stepped into the small shrine. It was only small enough for two people to be inside with two well kept plush pillows and a rug in front of the faceless statue. It was holding a bouquet of carved gladiolus. He went to light the candles on the pegs on the walls of the shrine. “I hope you don’t mind the visit today.”

The shrine was a small one by many standards, but the god inside could say with honesty it was one of his favorites. He liked sitting in the quiet morning listening, because unlike many prayers, those by Zhao Xian were more like conversation, like they were sitting together for tea. Zhao Xian talked about his late wife, and his cute son, and his extended family. He talked about the town and his work. He talked about his heartache, which the god could feel poignantly, but still the man came to pray, and to _him._

Those who grieved usually had no prayers for blessings, which was all he could give. But Zhao Xian still came, much to his joy. As the man settled, he enveloped him in warmth to let him know he was listening.

_I never mind your visit,_ he promised in the calls of a nearby magpie and smiled sweetly as the man lit incense, settling down beside him in spirit as though they could pray together.

Zhao Xian chuckled at the sound of the magpie. It’d been around since they built the shrine. The bird brought the same comfort as the building. He felt a sense of him being hugged and wondered if it was the god or his wife sending him good wishes. Zhao Xian closed his eyes as he prayed as he took a yellow silk ribbon out from his hidden qikan pocket to run between his fingers.

“Flowers, yesterday my boy fell in love with a turtle that I didn’t have the heart to tell him was a snapping turtle. He was just so happy. I pray to you that he always keeps that part of himself. I know life is hard but even the smallest seed can be turned into a tree when it’s nurtured.” Zhao Xian chuckled, imagining what his wife would have said or done. His eyes stung as he felt the tears start to form. They weren’t sad but happy ones. Because the moment he felt sad, Zhao Deyin’s happy but proud face came to mind.

It was a pure wish and the god smiled happily. He wanted little Zhao Deyin to always know that joy, and to plant seeds of hope where he went. So, it would be done. 

The god’s eyes flicked down to the ribbon and he gently settled his hand over the man’s, warming his further. _Granted,_ he said, hoping the sentiment got through, and had his magpie call again to punctuate it. _He will know joy._ And he would. He could already see the line of blessings forming in Zhao Deyin’s life and he closed his eyes to savor them. He watched the boy grow in his mind to a fine man, elegant and honest. A man of law and righteousness, who loved with all he was. There was a red string tied to his finger, connected to another, and it was not his blessing to give, but he blessed it all the same. _He will grow well in your love for him._

  
Zhao Xian smiled, feeling a calming weight on his hand that he couldn’t see but still felt comfort from. He peered up at the magpie. “Don’t tell Flowers but I brought you something too.” Zhao Xian said to the bird, taking out a little golden ingot and setting it aside so that the bird could get it if it wanted. “I know my A-Yue would bring you things.” 

The god felt warm all over at that. It was true enough, but still it touched him. The magpie was him, a mortal tether to this world, and he already knew where that gold would go - others prayed and often for gifts of money, and he would pass it along to someone who needed it.

_Thank you,_ he murmured as his magpie self fluttered down to snatch up the gold, though not before gently pressing its beak into his leg. It flew out the window to deliver it to someone who needed it.

_I wish you would ask for a blessing for yourself,_ the god admitted, taking in the man’s solemn, handsome face. _I don’t know what you would want besides what you ask for._

“I know I’m wasting your time Flowers but I think...today I just need the time here. Today is going to go two ways, and I need the strength if it goes one way that coming here gives me.” Zhao Xian said, softly and his throat tightening. Coming this morning wasn’t just routine like he’d tried to convince himself earlier. Yesterday he’d gotten the letter from his wife’s family requesting to see Zhao Deyin. It would be a hard day if Zhao Deyin said yes. But he’d weather it if that meant his son’s happiness. Though he didn’t know how much happiness could be had from that family.

“You see,“ he began sharing, “my wife’s family is wanting to see him and it was probably wrong of me to not inform them till after the mourning period that she was gone….but they disowned her when she married me. If Zhao Deyin wants to be in their life Flowers, then I’ll weather it. I just pray that they don’t hurt him.”

The god considered that, already knowing what the answer would be. The path of Zhao Deyin’s future did not alter, nor could he even see the other path, so it wasn’t even in the boy’s mind. Not that the poor man knew that.

He stood and knelt before Zhao Xian, the candles flickering in his presence, as well as the smoke from the incense stick. He cupped the man’s face in his hands and warmed him as best he could. _Have faith in your son,_ he pressed into the man’s mind. _Have faith in the love you give. All will be well, I promise._

“I...thank you Flowers.” Zhao Xian said, leaning into the touch that was so gentle it was vastly different from his wife’s. “You’re too kind to someone who isn’t.”

_You are kind, I can see your heart,_ the god assured and smiled softly at him, even though it couldn’t be seen. Hopefully, it was felt. _And you are not a waste of my time. I am here, and I am listening._

“So then I guess it’s alright to stay a while then.” Zhao Xian opened his eyes, letting the one tear fall. His hand tightened around the yellow ribbon. “Just for a little bit.”

_Stay as long as you like. My home is your home,_ the god assured, brushing a bit of the man’s hair off his forehead. He resumed his position at his side, just enjoying the quiet and peace. Eventually, he felt the man start to list to the side as his exhaustion got the better of him. With the safety of ignorance, the god manifested to catch him and gently lower him to the pillows, a smile on his lips. 

“Keep the faith,” he murmured and covered him with the blanket laying there, tucking it around the man like he was a child. “All will be well. I promise.”

Zhao Xian didn’t know when he fell asleep but he knew the moment that he woke. It was to a giggle after the door to the shrine had been opened. He kept his eyes closed, sensing that it was Zhao Deyin. There was another round of giggles before the blanket that he had over him was lifted. That made him frown a little because he didn’t remember touching the blankets. If it had been one of his other children they would have woken him. So he wondered if it’d been maybe…. _Flowers_? 

He didn’t have time to ponder too much on that for there was a pudgy little finger trying to smooth out his furrowed brows. 

“ _Baba_ , don’t looks like that. You’re going to get ‘inkles and A-Bin says ‘inkles are for old people.” Zhao Deyin chided him. 

“Am I not old?” Zhao XIan asked, wrapping his arm around his son to make sure he was covered to and close to him. 

“Nope, but Jian-shu is.” Zhao Deyin giggled as Zhao Xian waggled his eyebrows. 

“Oh is he now?” Zhao Xian laughed, watching his six year old son nod enthusiastically. “Well then we must take extra care of him.”

“Like you take care of me!” Zhao Deyin grinned.

“Yes, like I take care of you though your Jian-shu doesn’t like spicy carrots.” Zhao Xian huffed.

“But they’s good for his eyes! _Mama_ says so!” Zhao Deyin declared, giving him a look that told him that he should try to deny it. Zhao Xian could only laugh.

“And _Mama_ is always right.” He said before his son could get on a tangent about how his favorite uncle doesn’t eat right. “Speaking of _Mama..._ did your siblings tell you about the man that visited earlier?”

“Ziyi-jie and Bin-ge did.” Zhao Deyin answered with a nod. No longer focused on his forehead, Zhao Deyin moved to just tracing his father’s face with his chubby hands. “I tolds them to make him leave. You looked sad but they said they couldn’t. He was family. Buts I’ve never seen him.”

“That man is your _Mama’s_ eldest brother.” Zhao Xian explained, trying to keep his voice even and not reveal how angry he was that the man appeared. “He wants to meet you and have you visit _his_ family.” He watched his son’s reaction and every second that his son kept quiet his heart began to beat faster as the worry and pain reared their ugly heads. 

“I _don’t wanna_ .” Zhao Deyin finally said, peering into his dad’s eyes. They held an expression of resolution that made him feel like they were actually Ying Yue’s staring back at him. “ _Mama_ said our family lived here. You said’s it too, _baba_ . We take care of each other and he didn’t when _Mama_ was sick. They aren’t family.” 

Zhao Xian blinked. He’d been so sure with his son’s open heart that’d forgive them. However, he’d mistakenly forgotten Ying Yue’s mindset was in him too. He smiled and leaned in to kiss his son’s forehead. “You’re right they aren’t.” He smiled as Zhao Deyin mussed his face a bit and wiggled at being kissed. “So, I’ll let them know your answer.”

At that he started kissing and tickling his boy earning giggles, wiggles, and flailing limbs for his efforts. “Thank you, flowers.” Zhao Xian thought before he focused back on playing with his son. He was grateful that the god had heard his prayer of faith, love, and hope that he wouldn’t lose his son.

A magpie answered him, sitting in the window of the shrine, it’s song soft and happy as it watched them from its perch, fluffed up and content.


	2. Chapter 2

“You need to be resting.” Granny Zhao stated, firmly as she put her hands on her hips. She was a good foot and a half shorter than him and Zhao Xian felt like the woman was two feet taller. Well at least that’s what his brain gave him from his seat at his desk. He let out a sigh but she was right. He felt miserable and she’d only given him medicinal tonic an hour or so earlier. 

“I…”

“No, no excuses. I can’t believe you. A-Jian is here working and your son has been fretting for the past two days and the first thing you do is get up, stumble in here, and work when you don’t have to. Get back to bed. A-Jian can take care of whatever that is.” Granny Zhao scolded, as she gestured to him and the desk. “Besides, your writing from the wrong end of the brush.” Her gaze shifted to the brush. 

Zhao Xian couldn’t help it even though there was a stubborn part of his brain that wanted to stay firm to not look. And of course she was right. That meant for the last however long he’d been in here that’s what he’d been doing. It also made sense as to why he’d kept having to dip the brush into the inkwell from going dry. 

“I….”

“That sounds like an excuse and I don’t listen to those just like your son. Who’s hoping you’ll get better soon. Now, get to bed.” Granny Zhao interrupted him.

Zhao Xian let out a displeased sigh and set the brush down off to the side. She wasn’t wrong. Zhao Deyin had been so upset to see him collapse as they’d returned from Gusu. He’d gotten a  _ little _ feverish after they’d passed through that storm. It wasn’t his fault they didn’t have the proper clothes. The snow had just come early and it wasn’t worth it to get them when their home wasn’t having the same weather. Which had been the wrong choice because it’d only gotten worse and it couldn’t have come at the worse time either.

“I am, Granny.” Zhao Xian responded, tone respectful as he got up shakily. All the heat from her left as she went to help him to his room.

“Good. Don’t be stubborn. Alright? You need to get as much rest as possible. What you have is something that isn’t going away overnight.” Granny Zhao repeated to him. He nodded his head and rubbed his chest at the weight there from the sickness. 

“I know and I will take care of myself.” Zhao Xian said, fondly before coughing.

“Good, A-Yin and the other children need you, we need you.” Granny Zhao softened more as she sent some of her  _ qi _ into him to help soothe the cough. He let out a shuddering breath as he felt some relief from the sickness. 

“I need you all as well. I  _ will _ do better.” Zhao Xian responded, gently patting Granny Zhao’s hand on his chest. She wrinkled her nose and happily deposited him back in his room. 

“Now, behave or I’ll make you sleep till your well.” Granny Zhao waggled her eyebrows then promptly left sealing his door. 

Zhao Xian couldn’t help but laugh even though it hurt. He was going to go to bed but he stopped turning his head towards the garden. It wasn’t the normal blooming, colorful retreat. No, this was winter and plants withered and hibernating. Since he’d collapsed he’d missed his morning visit to the shrine. 

“It wouldn’t hurt since I am upright already.” Zhao Xian reasoned, as he made his way out into the garden but not before grabbing a cloak. Which was probably the best decision he’d made all day. It was nice and warm. Slowly, he made his way to the shrine with a blossoming but dazed smile on his face. 

“Hello, Flowers.” Zhao Xian slurred a little as he went to light the candles. “I’m sorry, I missed you this morning...or has it been longer?” 

The shrine warmed up in welcome, though the god was exasperated. Fond, of course, but still.  _ You should be resting,  _ he chided, even as he took his usual place beside Zhao Xian to listen and simply enjoy his company. He had missed him, but sickness needed its time of rest, and this stubborn mortal obviously was fighting it. He shook his head and settled his arm around him, further softening and warming the cloak.  _ I will not disappear if you do not come for a few days.  _

“I missed you too.” Zhao Xian huffed, before coughing again. He curled into himself at the feel of being warmer. “I worried A-Yin and the rest of my family with this st-stupid sickness. Granny tells me that it won’t go away quickly. I pray that this sickness doesn’t stop them from doing their duties or worrying unnecessarily. Especially A-Yin. He must be even more worried. You see, Flowers, that’s how her sickness started. In the winter.”

The god knew that, of course, and his worry only heightened at the way Zhao Xian mumbled off. His eyes were glazed and unfocused and the god wondered if, just this once, he could be a little brave.

There was no heavenly law stating a god could not manifest themself whenever they pleased. It was discouraged, but not forbidden. Even so, the god of Zhao Xian’s shrine had always been cautious, choosing his moments carefully. But the sorry sight moved his heart and some things needed to be heard properly, rather than just felt, and it wasn’t like the man was fully in his right mind. If nothing else, Zhao Xian would remember this more as a dream than a proper reality.

“They will always worry about you, Zhao Xian,” he said as he solidified beside him, warm and real with the sweetness of honey in the air. The door rattled fully closed and the windows shut themselves, furthering the warmth in the room. “You are precious to them. And though it is hard to understand or accept, you do not control how they feel about you. Even if you put up your bravest front, they will still worry. They care for and love you.”

“But they shouldn’t worry, flowers.” Zhao Xian slurred, some more as he settled into the weight that pressed against him. It was so nice and he turned his head to see the most beautiful man that he’s ever seen...while delirious. He smiled reaching out to cup his cheek. “Such pretty eyes…don’t worry too.” He squeezed the cheek when the man’s smile faded. He felt his fever return and his vision blurred a bit more.

“I will always worry, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” the god chided and shifted away, just far enough to lower Zhao Xian’s head in his lap. “Now, be good and rest. I am here with you, most stubborn of menaces that you are. Let my voice chase away your fever.”

“Don’t leave, flowers.” Zhao Xian murmured as he fell asleep to the sound of the man’s voice. The last thing that he thought was that maybe he shouldn’t be commanding a god but let it go.

_ His dream was a room draped in golden silks, with a pink tinted sunshine filtering through the window. A cherry blossom tree in full bloom fluttered in a sweet smelling wind, and when Zhao Xian peeked up, his head was still in his god’s lap, warm and safe and cradled in an earthy brown sleeve. _

_ “I won’t leave,” he promised, smiling a dimpled smile, and the light played on his face, throwing his freckles into relief as his unbound, wavy hair swayed in the air. He gently rubbed between Zhao Xian’s sleepy brows. “You haven’t slept this deep in a while.” _

_ Zhao Xian’s eyes fluttered open to the sight of the most breathtaking sight. A freckled young man was peering down at him with a smile. He swallowed, words escaping him. The only other time he’d been this way was with Ying Yue. He’d even tripped over nothing the first time he’d seen her. So, he was lucky that this dream man had him laying down.  _

_ “...what did you say?” Zhao Xian said, wincing and flushing at the odd choice of words. He’d felt like the man might have been speaking to wake him in his dream.  _

_ “I said I won’t leave,” the god said again, his hand trailing down his cheek. “You haven’t slept this deep in a while. You don’t sleep well at all.” _

_ He smiled gently at him. “Don’t worry, Zhao Xian, you are safe here with me. Your family is safe, too.” _

_ “Flowers?” Zhao Xian blinked but calmed at the soft caress of his cheek. He’d not let anyone in since his wife’s passing to do this to him besides his family. “...I can’t rest. I have to be ready for them if they need me.” _

_ “How can you be ready if you drop from exhaustion?” the god countered with a fond smile. “Trust in them the way they trust in you. You don’t have to carry everything alone.” _

_ “But I…” Zhao Xian started but stopped under the fond smile. His ability to speak was lost under the weight of the care he saw. “You can’t do that Flowers….it’s not fair.” _

_ “Isn’t it?” the god chuckled, that fondness only growing more tender in his eyes. “You will continue to hit ruts like this if you go on as you have been. Lean on others as they lean on you. That is what it means to love and respect one another.” _

_ “I...don’t look at me like that, you make me want to agree to anything.” Zhao Xian stumbled in saying. He hadn’t been looked at like that in a very long time. Not since his late wife was here. “Since it doesn’t look like you're going to stop then I guess I must cave to you, Flowers.” _

_ “Good,” the god said, pleased, and smoothed his brow with a finger. “If you ever feel the world is too much, come back to me. I will help you lighten the load. You are not heavy to me. Okay?”  _

_ “You don’t seem very heavy.” Zhao Xian said, reaching up to touch the brown curled locks of hair. “Soft..” He chuckled at his dream god. “I think I will always come back here.” His thoughts shifted to his wife but also to the comfort he felt being here. _

_ “Good, because I will always be here,” the god assured, though his head lifted at the sound of a distant magpie. He smiled a bit sad, but his fingers continued to rub between Zhao Xian’s brows. “Ah, it’s time for you to wake now. Do not forget my words, Zhao Xian, and remember to rest.” _

_ “Can’t we stay longer?” Zhao Xian asked, not ready for the warmth and calming presence to leave him. “Everyone must go..but a little longer?” His jaw tightened a little at the sad feeling that came to him. Zhao Xian finally let go of the strand of hair. He was being greedy and he shouldn’t be. Time was the heavenly beings’ sand and he’d never own a grain.  _

_ “I would say yes, but we don’t want your little son to worry more,” the god chuckled. “Go to bed and rest properly, and you can come back to me, okay?” _

_ “Don’t leave _ .”  _ Zhao Xian requested and told himself that his tone wasn’t one of a plea. It’s something he’d never do. Asking the god for something for himself.  _

“I am’s not going anywhere  _ baba _ . I gots you!” Zhao Deyin's worried voice said, waking him. There was a gentle rub of his head and bright, worried eyes peering down at him. “You're being naughty! Granny is going to get you.”

“I….” Zhao Xian said, confused and a little dazed. He was in the shrine with his head not in the god’s lap but his son’s. He coughed, wincing but settled down as Zhao Deyin gently patted his head. “I’m sorry...won’t you protect me?”

“Duh,  _ baba _ .” Zhao Deyin responded, leaning down to kiss his warm forehead. Like he was the child and Zhao Deyin was the parent. He tried not to laugh because he didn’t want to cough. Zhao Xian reached up to gently pinch his son’s cheek earning a small cheerful whine. 

“I’m sorry I worried you, Flowers warned me I was being naughty.” Zhao Xian apologized, then frowned. Had it really been flowers? He was delirious? Probably. He should have listened to Granny. 

“Flowers?  _ Baba _ , it’s winter everyone knows  _ flowers _ don’t grow in wint-ter.” Zhao Deyin stuttered, correcting him. 

“You’re almost right. Shall we see Ziyi-jie’s garden? She has what are called violets. They withstand Gusu winters.” Zhao Xian explained to his son before giving one last pinch. He sat up carefully and peered at the statue. He closed his eyes for a moment and gave his thanks even if it was a fever dream. The god listened to him without complaint. 

Zhao Deyin shook his head in childish disbelief. Which made Zhao Xian smile brightly. “Let’s get me back to bed and your Ziyi-jie can walk you through her garden to prove me wrong.”

“O’kay! But don’t say I didn’t warn you,  _ baba _ . Disappointment happens to Zhao’s too.” Zhao Deyin patted his dad’s arm. That did make him laugh, wheeze, and cough but he couldn’t not. It was just too precious to hear Tang Heijian’s words being given back to him from his seven year old son. 

“You’re right my little gremlin, let’s go see just how disappointed I’ll be.” Zhao Xian said, standing up a little wobbly and sore from the ground and sickness. He held out his hand for his son to which the little boy took easily guiding him back to his room.


	3. Chapter 3

“You should really consider Yunmeng. It’s close to Meishan.” Tang Heijian stated, taking a sip of his baijiu. Specifically it was the strong raspberry flavored one from Lotus Pier during his last visit. He glanced over at his friend and his gaze softened further. Zhao Xian seemed troubled at moving the base from Gusu. He understood it but they needed their headquarters to be more centered. 

“And I think you should consider how Sect Leader Jiang is going to take to us being in Lotus Pier. Sect Leader Lan would be rid of us here if he was aware of our dealings more.” Zhao Xian answered, “I’d rather our brothers and sisters not be punished severely.” Jiang Cheng ran Lotus Pier and the surrounding territory with laws that were honored by his people. “Besides, LeLing is better for us and keeps a strong hold with our people in Qinghe. Perhaps, you should settle in Baling. The children start there and come here.”

“I will take it up with A-Fang. If he agrees then I’ll do it.” Tang Heijian responded, tilting his head as he noticed that Zhao Xian was standing. “You going somewhere?”

“I think I am going to take a walk.” Zhao Xian answered. He wasn’t lying though it wasn’t the full truth. He was concerned about the whole moving. It needed to be done though he worried that the shrine wouldn’t travel well. Leling is on the outskirts of Lanling. 

He brushed a strand of hair behind his ear as he went through the garden to the shrine. It was still cool enough in the evenings now of spring that it was a bit chilly. He took the shawl of the hook that had been left. It was softened by being well used and it was almost threadbare. “A-Yue said that you shouldn’t drink and worry but I am, Flowers. What if you can’t go with me?” He pulled out the all too familiar yellow ribbon from his pocket as he sat down on his respective pillow. 

The shrine warmed almost instantly as the god sat down beside him and draped an arm over his shoulders to soothe his trembling.  _ You worry too much,  _ he chuckled, and the magpie sang with it.  _ What do I always tell you? I am here, I’m not leaving. Keep the faith. _

“I know what you say in our dreams but it’s hard. I can’t…” Zhao Xian stopped himself as he felt the comforting weight on his shoulders. His gaze shifted to the magpie. . “...is it weird to pray for you, that you’ll be safe?”

The god chuckled and the shrine warmed more.  _ It is weird, but I appreciate it,  _ he promised.  _ Keep the faith and I will always be with you. _

“Don’t laugh. Even gods fall too. The scholars have books telling all about it.” Zhao Xian teased, though he was serious. It was silly of him to think one shrine could keep the other from seeing him. Flowers was a god. He swallowed and rubbed his temple. “Enough about me. A-yin is thrilled to be going. He walked around the new house and already picked the one room over the man made lake on the property. I’m terrified. He’s refused swimming lessons.” 

_ He will be safe,  _ the god assured, knowing how that would go. Zhao Deyin would feel much different about swimming lessons once he actually got to live over water he couldn’t be in. Still, he knew it was pointless to tell Zhao Xian to stop worrying, because the man would never stop. That was just who he was.  _ All will be well. I promise. _

“Now you’re mocking me.” Zhao Xian mused, a bright smile though on his face as the magpie sang its master’s tune of promise. It made his heart swell but also ache. It’d been four years and now Zhao Deyin was about to turn eleven. It felt like every dream and daily prayer he was closer to Flowers. He closed his eyes and fiddled with the ribbon. “They will pack your shrine tomorrow, Flowers. You arrive at home before we get there. So I hope you don’t mind it too much. The quiet break from my ramblings.” 

_ I never mind your ramblings,  _ the god sighed and for a brief moment leaned in to kiss the man’s temple, manifesting just far enough it would be felt and his voice heard.  _ Be safe. I’ll be waiting for you. _

“I am going to miss you if I am honest, flowers. I hope you like the new space.” Zhao Xian said, voice low like it was a secret from his heart that he tried to not voice. 

_ I will _ , the god said, sure of that, and kept the man warm and as content as he could before it was time to leave.

He rather liked the new shrine, once it was ready. It was still small and tidy and he easily filled the space with warmth. Even alone, it wasn’t too quiet, with the sound of birds outside and the smell of flowers. It was a welcoming place and he enjoyed the bustle of activity outside. The new headquarters were bigger, more airy, and Leling was definitely warmer. The god spent much of his time as the magpie hopping about the garden and sunning his wings, pleased with the space, and felt his own heart begin to turn with happy excitement to see Zhao Xian again.

“Do not over do it. Four years, four years and not one puncture wound. The wheel on the carriage breaks and so does your leg. Are you sure you're a Zhao?” Granny’s voice carried through the open doors leading into the garden. 

“What’s that supposed to mean? I know something of yours has gotten broken over the years….maybe it’s your filter.” Zhao Xian teased before she swatted his shoulder. 

“No, that’s what good juice is for.” Granny cackled. “Now, behave and I’ll send A-Yin will be here to retrieve you for dinner. No you’re escaping first meal over a broke leg.” 

Then she was gone leaving him alone with his crutch. The boots were tossed by the door. Not that he minded walking barefoot. He was excited to see the shrine. There had been some slight wear on the frame of the shrine. His staff told him that it’d righted itself overnight which made him smile. He was careful making his way to the center of the garden to see the shrine.

“I’m home Flowers.” Zhao Xian said, stepping inside. A slight smile as he stepped inside. “We missed you.” Flowers had began to grow on the statue as well flourish around it even more than it had in Gusu. 

As he carefully made his way to the cushions, the magpie fluttered down from the window, chiding him for the crutch. It hopped around, fretting, all through him sitting down.

_ You silly man,  _ the god sighed, sitting with him, the smell of sunshine and honey ripe in the air.  _ All this worry for me, who cannot be harmed… where is this worry for yourself?  _

“I can see you like our home. That’s good.” Zhao Xian continued on feeling the richer scent of earth and honey. “I like it too and I am sure that our boy will come with mud clumped on him. He was already eyeing the pond in the front.” He chuckled sharing how he’d broken his leg when trying to keep a trunk from squishing his son. 

The god felt like sighing again and gave his magpie a look. Obediently, it fluttered out of the shrine and the windows closed, as did the door. He stood as the man spoke and walked around, grabbing a new blanket that had been brought for the place. He manifested and slipped it over Zhao Xian’s shoulders.

“I’m glad it was just an accident then,” he murmured, heart racing a bit as he retook his place beside him. He had kept his manifestations to dreams and when the man was hardly aware of him. This was new and his hands wrung in his lap in nerves, though there was a smile on his face that made the flowers on the shrine bloom open fully. “Still, you really like to make me worry, don’t you?”

“Yes, but not as much as worrying if you’d like it here. They were all for Leling. I think that A-Bin would have rebelled if we were going to Yunmeng. He wanted to come here and I think….no you  _ were _ right, flowers, about the manor . It is a perfect fit. Though I didn’t get A-Jian and A-Fang to come. I think me having the majority of them here is just right.” 

The god smiled sweeter at that and reached over to take his hand. “This is where I see you all flourish,” he admitted. “Especially little Zhao Deyin. This is where he will build his life.”

“Really? A good one I hope with happiness.” Zhao Xian said, even softer than before. That smile of his god’s face made his heart flutter. An age old shyness returning. It was just as rich a feeling as when he’d realized that he was in love with Ying Yue. This was no different. He was falling for a god. He swallowed feeling brave. “And what of you? Your happiness?”

“My happiness is no different than yours. It’s for me to find on my own,” the god assured, bumping their shoulders together. “I am not bound by the same mortal tethers as you are, but still it’s a choice. And I choose to be happy here with you.”

He looked around the shrine, soaking in the sun and smell, and smiled happily. “I like it here with you the most.”

“I like being here with you too.” Zhao Xian answered, reaching to brush his god’s hair behind his ear. He smiled then took out the yellow ribbon from his qikan pouch in his sleeve. Zhao Xian offered it to the god. “Here, for you Flowers.” 

The god gently took it, his eyes soft and sweet. “Are you sure? You like to fidget with it when you pray. I don’t want to take it if it helps you,” he murmured, rubbing it between his fingers.

“Yes, I am sure, flowers.” Zhao Xian reached up to move more strands over curly dark brown hair over his shoulders. “It’s mine. A-Yue returned it to me during her passing. Asking me to remember to pray, live, and love not just A-Yin but for myself. The way that we lost her. It was painful as I’m sure you know between our talks and her prayers.” He paused summoning more courage as he shared the words he’d been thinking. “You’ve helped me want to let that care into my heart again.”

“She was a good woman, a bright light on this earth,” the god murmured. “She has entered paradise, though not without picking fights all along the way. Quite the spitfire. Her next life will be just as bright.”

He smiled and reached over to Zhao Xian, cupping his cheek. “And I’m glad I could help you in that way. You deserve the blessing of love.”

“As do you.” Zhao Xian responded, reaching up to place his hand over the god’s hand. He leaned into the touch and let his eyes flutter shut. “Thank you for listening to me, my wife, my son and my family.” Zhao Xian turned to press the softest of kisses to the cusp of the other’s hand.

“Thank you for wanting me to,” the god said, shivering at the feeling. “I’m sorry I am not a powerful god, and that all I can give is small blessings. If i could have saved her, I would have.”

“I know, but she is safer awaiting her next life. We will see her again, of that I am very certain.” Zhao Xian responded, pressing another kiss not missing the shivering. His eyes fluttering shut to savor the moment where his touch hadn’t been turned away. “You are a powerful god that has provided  _ many _ small blessings that have helped us in a big way. If it weren’t for you then we wouldn’t have realized she was sick. I’d heard her praying for a sign to let her know if this was her fate or if someone was creating it for her.”

“I’m glad I could give her that peace,” the god said, a rosy blush flushing over his cheeks. He licked his lips and rubbed his thumb over Zhao Xian’s cheekbone. “Are you sure you want to be in love with a god?” he asked, feeling the way the man’s heart skipped.

“Yes.’ Zhao Xian answered, without hesitation. His dark eyes fluttered open as he moved his jaw to give the other man more lines of his face. “Are you sure you want to care for a lowly human like me?”

“Of course I do. You are my favorite blessing,” the god said, smiling wide. “I already care and have cared a long time.” Zhao Xian’s gaze darkened a little at the others admission of feelings. 

“And you’re my favorite blessing that I’d never thought I’d get after A-Yue had left us.”

The god leaned in and gently kissed him, smiling to feel the man’s soft gasp. “Love me then with all your heart,” he breathed out, feeling Zhao Deyin’s approaching feet. “I will see you soon, Zhao Xian.”

“Come to me tonight?” Zhao Xian requested, wanting to talk more about what happened just now. 

“Yes,” was the warm promise, followed by a kiss on his forehead, then he was alone in a flutter of wings and shivering leaves as the door slid open to reveal Zhao Deyin.

“ _ BABA!  _ There is a pond-d in my garden?!” Zhao Deyin exclaimed, covered in mud. A bright toothy smile on his face. “Oh!  _ Mama _ ’s friend grows flowers here too!” He pointed at the flowers growing on the statue. 

“Yes, and he’s  _ baba _ ’s friend too.” Zhao Xian smiled, moving to accept the hug that Zhao Deyin craved as he moved to jump on Zhao Xian’s lap. 

“Nope,  _ mama’s _ . She says he’s your joy.”

“You're my joy and he blesses me with your happiness.” Zhao Xian responded, pinching the boy’s cheek, making him laugh. “Now, let’s get you cleaned up before Granny finds out you made a mess.”

“Oh alright.” Zhao Deyin sighed, though there was a different smile on his face when he spotted the golden ribbon in the statue's hair. 

The god watched them go and stepped around the statue as the door shut, waving at the boy and laughing brightly, the sound echoing through the garden as birdsong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow us on twitter at [ThisSolarisLife](https://twitter.com/thissolarislife) & [Christian_Richtown](https://twitter.com/christi64860214).

**Author's Note:**

> Follow us on twitter at [ThisSolarisLife](https://twitter.com/thissolarislife) & [Christian_Richtown](https://twitter.com/christi64860214).


End file.
